I am a believer in passion. I love an unwavering commitment to a cause. I’ve often stood in awe at those willing to stick a neck out, take a chance, champion a belief. In so many ways, those are my people.
Although my mission of kindness has become a badge of honor, I imagine words like opinionated and intense are more often used to describe me. That’s OK. It takes more than a few adjectives to make a person whole. If kindness falls in the top ten, heck, if it falls in the top twenty, I’m on the right track.
And so it is true with Cal and Ray. I know Cal just a little, Ray, even less. I don’t need to travel far down the road of friendship, though, to see the intensity and passion that each carries. They believe in stuff, all sorts of stuff, and aren’t afraid to let you know it. They are each, in their own way, outspoken advocates for what they think is right.
In several cases as of late, they have stood firmly in different camps on issues that matter to them. I don’t need to spell out the issues; if you are a social media aficionado, you already know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, it doesn’t matter anyway.
What matters is this: When Cal felt she was no longer making headway with Ray’s staunch beliefs, she did something we don’t do often enough. She reached out. She connected. She asked him to meet her for a cup of coffee and conversation. And, Ray, well, he said yes.
“My wife was a bit worried before I left,” Ray told me. “She said to be careful. But I wanted Cal to see I don’t have three horns on my head. That I am just a regular person.”
Together, Cal and Ray talked about the themes of their life experiences, their love of community, their common ground in coming from immigrant families. “I live in the Highlands,” Ray told me. “Cal was raised there.”
“Ray’s son is getting ready to play baseball at Incarnation,” Cal recalled. “I’m on the Inc Board and so I told him a bit about the program. I felt great to be able to share that.”
I don’t know how long the coffee lasted, but eventually, they got around to talking about the disagreement that got them there in the first place. “It was a really civil conversation,” Ray said. “I think I understand a little more where she’s coming from, and Cal understands me, too.”
There was no big compromise that came from the meeting of Ray and Cal. There was no big anything at all. And although Ray insists he made a friend that day, I imagine their bond will remain a loose one. They’ll see each other around town. They’ll talk about the kids and the weather. They’ll promise to get together again real soon. Maybe that follow-up coffee will happen. Maybe it won’t.
But either way, I think Ray and Cal will add respect to the list of adjectives they use to describe each other. That, my friends, is what it’s all about.
#melrosekind keeping it real.
